Infomercials

This morning, as I was yawning and trying to remove sleep matter from my eyes, I dutifully drove the three or so miles to my local gym. Sadly, there was a long line at the door of other fitness hopefuls and I quickened my pace to "ensure" I would snag an elliptical trainer. My plan was simple: do 30 minutes on an elliptical and then do High Intensity Interval Training (HIIT) on a treadmill for an additional 30. Usually, this combination helps me to burn about 1000 calories. This morning...1030. Yay me!

The elliptical trainers at the gym are pretty cool with embedded television consoles - as if we "need" more time in front of a TV. But, if you're pumping along and burning sufficient calories, why not? Sadly, there isn't much available to watch at 5:30AM.

I settled to watch infomercials on the Discovery Channel. I watched one that I have watched again and again. The P90X infomercial. "Do our program for 90 days, change your diet habits, and you'll have the body of a Greek god." Yeah, heard it before. Actually bought the program. [Disclaimer: it "is" a good program. But Beach Body is a vortex into which you can be pulled VERY easily. Caveat emptor].

Sadly, however, I could design a program that would do exactly the same thing and probably would be willing to give it away for free. "Why" do we believe infomercials?

Because they snag you just like a well thought out drama. Good acting (well...acting anyway), music, and promises galore. Perhaps the funniest thing is that the P90X infomercial even includes something similar to a record scratching and an announcement, that, if, someone calls in the next five minutes...[...insert inflated delivery promise here...]. I have known people who are gulled into believing that if they don't call "right now," they'll miss out.

Sorry P90X, I don't buy it. I am on to your wily schemes. I can say that, since, after all, purchasing P90X means I have bought three such programs from your company.

Will I do it? Yes, have started. Even thought about the "before and after" photos...but I have that plain look that will never win a "you did it" trip to Hawaii, or any other exotic place.

In the mean time, I'm sure there are more infomercials out there.

'nuff said